SOCIETY · Etiquette notes from the balcony stairs

Orla Pike brought sub-calendars. Seraphine Clove brought a look that made three centerpieces reconsider themselves.

Preparations for the Moonlit Formal advanced from ‘aspirational’ to ‘legally a plan’ after Orla Pike unveiled a seating chart with more internal structure than the east tower. Seraphine Clove objected to being placed near anyone who says ‘vibes’ as a noun, verb, and emergency exit.

Mina Lark proposed a kindness raffle, Brynna Slate proposed backup punch bowls, and Marcellus Gilt proposed that his family table be described as ‘tastefully inevitable.’ The motion failed after the decorations committee discovered taste had not been consulted.