FACULTY DRAMA · Cassian Vale

Dr. Clara Hartwell leads the inquiry into whether the recent levitation incident was a design flaw or simply a lack of discipline.

The latest session of the Facilities Oversight Committee descended into mild chaos when a particularly enthusiastic lecture chair attempted to migrate toward the bell tower. Dr. Clara Hartwell noted that while the movement was impressive, it was technically unauthorized and highly disruptive to the ongoing lecture on gravity.

Members are currently reviewing the enchantments on all classroom furniture to ensure no other desks plan an arbitrary departure. Until the audit is complete, students are advised to keep heavy textbooks on their desks to prevent any spontaneous and uncoordinated flights across the lecture hall.